Freedom as in "Free"

Lately I’ve found myself thriving. Not in the conventional sense of getting the all time best paying job or having extreme material wealth, but in the sense that my mental clarity is getting better. For long stretches of time, I would typically be stuck in a boom-bust cycle of getting a break from all the digital stimulation of Youtube or other sources before falling back into it. I can say with certainty now that the cycle is over and I find myself feeling better equipped to deal with relevant things to my life. Things like what my career ought to look like, or what do I want to work towards that would create meaning for myself. One of the things I want to work on is this website for instance, making it my own personal digital hub for my writings or various other things I would like to present or show off. That isn’t to say that I’m not worried that I could fall back into that trap of YouTube and spending an hour glued to the screen without taking my eyes off of it, but that I have a differing awareness of myself that I can look towards whenever that temptation happens to occur.

A lot of people spend time being concerned over what Freedom truly means. It’s a definition constantly being redefined over time by Americans who have differing opinions and experiences and surroundings. Some think that freedom is freedom from being offended or freedom from being around people you disagree with. Others would say that freedom is being free from persecution by perceived enemies or from ideologies they don’t agree with. Everyone’s definitions are always differing from others and we find ourselves at a sort of impasse culturally and ideologically. I’m sure there’s many more that I’m not focused on here but the reality is that I honestly don’t care. Wading into mainstream media culture wars is like banging your head against a wall while others sprinkle you with likes or shout obscenities in your face while most others remain apathetic and go about their business as usual. That’s just speaking about the digital realm, what bleeds into reality is even more absurd. The more we look for trouble around the world or nationally to correct with our words and mental energies, the more we fail to address what’s inside ourselves or what goes on in our own communities. Freedom means being free from vice and indecision and nihilism. Playing the game of who’s right and wrong ideologically will get you nowhere. Playing into the dopamine timesuck of Youtube and Tiktok gets you nowhere even faster. As I opt out of playing this, the more time I find for other things of interest and importance.

The same goes for addictive substances. Whether it’s alcohol or porn or drugs, these sorts of addictions keep you constrained and imprisoned.