Detox Diaries Pt. 2

Feeling pretty good recently. I think having a full time job where I’m on my feet all the time has really stopped me from engaging in super attention grabbing online content all the time. I feel more like myself and less like an automaton. The motivation is now there to try and learn new things that are tangible and have skills that actually serve the real world, rather than trying to hide away in online fantasies and rot the time away.

I think I want to have more projects where I’m just working on things. I plan on redoing the CPU thermal paste on my Thinkpad X220 and adding a reverse osmosis system for my new casa later this summer. There’s more of a motivation for me to just try different things as well and spend more time outside. I have no doubt that I’ll still have bad days and have the urge to engage in old bad habits as anyone does, but I think that I have the capacity now to overcome it and cope with better strategies rather than just going straight for the bad thing instead.

My original lifestyle was born out of something like resentment for the real world, where I didn’t feel like I contributed anything valuable and all these negative feelings came about that I really didn’t want to have to deal with. Hence constantly wanting to engage in dopamine detoxes and failing and going back into the habits that further caused my resentment and horrible feelings. I think I’m finally starting to break out of that cycle, where I no doubt still have the temptation to fall into again. But I think with all these experiences I’m going to have, I’ll be able to build the confidence necessary not to fall into that state again and be more successful with my personal goals. At the very least I’ll be learning new things and working off that excess energy that I wasn’t working off before.

Detox Diaries Part 2